Old Age

It's Hell to be Old  !
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OLD people  have problems that you haven't
even considered yet!
   
An 85-year-old man was requested by his
Doctor for a sperm count as part of his  physical
exam.

The doctor gave the man a  jar and said, 'Take
this jar home and bring back a semen  sample
tomorrow.'

The next day  the 85-year-old man reappeared
at the doctor's office and gave him the  jar,
which was as clean and empty as on the
previous day.

The doctor  asked what happened and the man
explained, 'Well, doc, it's like this--first I tried
with my right hand, but nothing.   Then I tried
with my left hand, but still nothing..

'Then I asked my wife for help.  She tried with
her right hand, then with her left, still nothing.
She tried with her mouth, first with the teeth in,
then with her teeth out, still  nothing.

'She even called up Arleen, the lady next door
and she tried too, first with both hands, then an
armpit, and she even tried squeezin' it between
her knees, but still nothing.'

The doctor was shocked! 'You asked your
neighbor?'    

The old man replied, 'Yep, none of us could get
the jar open.' 

Passbook Story

Priya married Hitesh this day. At the end of the wedding party, Priya's mother gave her a newly opened bank saving passbook. With Rs.1000 deposit amount. 

Mother: Priya, take this passbook. Keep it as a record of your marriage life. When there's something happy and memorable happened in your new life, put some money in. Write down what it's about next to the line. The more memorable the event is, the more money you can put in. I've done the first one for you today. Do the others with Hitesh. When you look back after years, you can know how much happiness you've had.' 

Priya shared this with Hitesh when getting home. 
 
They both thought it was a great idea and were anxious to know when the second deposit can be made. 

This was what they did after certain time: 
- 7 Feb: Rs.100, first birthday celebration for Hitesh after marriage 

- 1 Mar: Rs.300, salary raise for Priya 

- 20 Mar: Rs.200, vacation trip to Bali 

- 15 Apr: Rs.2000, Priya got pregnant 

- 1 Jun: Rs.1000, Hitesh got promoted 

.... and so on... 

However, after years, they started fighting and arguing for trivial things. They didn't talk much. They regretted that they had married the most nasty people in the world.... no more love... Kind of typical nowadays, huh? 

One day Priya talked to her Mother:'Mom, we can't stand it anymore. We agree to divorce. I can't imagine how I decided to marry this guy!!!' 
Mother: 'Sure, girl, that's no big deal. Just do whatever you want if you really can't stand it. But before that, do one thing first. Remember the saving passbook I gave you on your wedding day? Take out all money and spend it first. You shouldn't keep any record of such a poor marriage.' 
Priya thought it was true. 


So she went to the bank, waiting at the queue and planning to cancel the account. While she was waiting, she took a look at the passbook record. She looked, and looked, and looked. Then the memory of all the previous joy and happiness just came up her mind. Her eyes were then filled with tears. She left and went home. When she was home, she handed the passbook to Hitesh, asked him to spend the money before getting divorce. The next day, Hitesh gave the passbook back to Priya. She found a new deposit of Rs.5000. And a line next to the record: 
 
'This is the day I notice how much I've loved you thru out all these years. 
 
How much happiness you've brought me.' 
 
They hugged and cried, putting the passbook back to the safe. 
Do you know how much money they had saved when they retired? 
I did not ask. I believe the money did not matter any more after they had gone thru all the good years in their life. 
"When you fall, in any way, Don't see the place where you fell, Instead see the place from where you slipped. 
Life is about correcting mistakes."